Opening:
Mr. Burns plays the Cryptkeeper, introducing the episode with the help of a similarly-styled Smithers. Then they kill Moe. I’m on board.
Married to the Blob:
A meteor full of green goo crashes in the family’s backyard. As expected, Homer eats the goo and soon finds himself filled with an unceasing hunger. He grows larger and larger while devouring everything from food to people, becoming a gargantuan monster and terror to all.
This segment is a total mixed bag. Some of the gags–like the one below, or the ending–are fantastic, but others are total disasters. Particular loathing needs to be lobbed toward the Dr. Phil cameo (remember the mid-2000s, when Dr. Phil was considered comedy gold for some reason) and the embarrassing “Baby Likes Fat” Sir Mix-a-lot parody. Is having some great gags but some unbearable ones better or worse than just being a middling, inoffensive segment?
Memorable Gag: “And to make matters worse, we’re also being attacked by a 50-foot Lenny!”
You Gotta Know When to Golem
Bart discovers a living clay Golem (voiced by Richard Lewis) through Krusty and begins using it do his mischievous bidding, but the Golem quickly grows bored and unsatisfied with his new life.
I don’t even know what the joke is here. Is it that the Golem is annoying? Well, he is, and not in a funny way. You Gotta Know When to Golem could best be compared to Frinkenstein in that it is stuck focused on a celeb-voiced character who gets old fast, but at least that segment featured a minor character who usually works. Who cares about this Richard Lewis Golem? Why is he the focus of a Treehouse story? I guess I’d rather take this concept than a non-horror-movie parody, but the execution sure is lousy.
Memorable Gag: Homer mistaking the Golem for Milhouse, followed by Milhouse doing Bart’s bidding just as a Golem would.
The Day the Earth Looked Stupid
In 1938 Springfield, the War of the Worlds radio drama whips everyone into a riotous frenzy. Then Kang & Kodos show up.
Halfway through this segment I said to myself, “This could easily be part of a classic Treehouse episode.” Then, because of poor writing or an ironic curse placed upon me, things collapsed as the characters spontaneously decided to strip off their clothes, wallow in the mud, and make animal noises to no comedic effect. The story never recovered, and the ending–a long, sad shot of bombs exploding in a barren city after dialogue blatantly paralleling the Iraq War–is haunting in an unwanted, uncomfortable way.
Memorable Gag: Orson Welles messing with the radio foley guy by demanding more and more elaborate sound effects.
Overall Thoughts:
Despite some better-than-expected jokes throughout, I can’t really recommend this episode. There’s too much genuinely annoying content (including an appearance by Fran Drescher), and it’s the only Simpsons episode to make me genuinely uncomfortable and unhappy. Treehouse of Horror XVII is one tree you shouldn’t climb or something whatever.